Ok, so dating is awful. I am fully convinced that Heavenly Father made dating so hard so that I would appreciate the wonderful consistency in marriage. I have always been one of those girls that is
old fashioned. I grew up with manly men who knew how to fix things, and how to work an honest day without complaining. They know how to cook and clean if needed and they know how to have fun. They put their families first and always did without so that we could have. They understood the value of a dollar but never let it outweigh kindness or generosity. They taught us to work as small children and always told us when we did things right. When we were in the wrong they were still right there, they didn't get upset and shut down, they talked us through the problem, gave us suggestions on how to fix it, and then let us go, free to make our own dumb mistakes. They helped the boys in my family become amazing men and for that alone I am so grateful. At any point I can still turn to any one of those wonderful men and get rock solid advice, direction, or just a good ole fashion *yellow rock!
I am quickly approaching my 25Th birthday and begin to ask myself what I really wanted in a future eternal companion. Growing up I always heard about the proverbial list that every woman supposedly makes. I never have really had one. I don't know why but I guess maybe that was a little too definite for me, maybe I have just never really known what I wanted and then there was always the fear of being considered too picky and that no mortal man could ever live up to my -black and white- list of requirements that were actually written down and therefore not negotiable. Either way, "the list" at least for me didn't exist.....until now. Lately for some reason that is all changing. I feel super old not just old fashioned, but old as in creaking bones, need a hip replacement old. 25 is half way to 50! Eeekk! As old as I am, I am only starting to discover what I want and that being picky is not always a bad thing, which I guess makes me pretty young. I can choose the battles that I want to fight later in life. In fact I AM choosing now, the kind of life I will have and the kind of daddy my babies will have. The serious nature of such a decision has made me understand the importance of a list. Actually writing, in black and white, those things that are definitely not negotiable for me and those things that are. I think is important because when I start to feel like I am falling for Mr.Right I can take a good look and make sure that he really is Mr. Right and not Mr. Rightnow.
Knowing that y'all will see this list has made me a bit cautious in writing it and I want y'all all to know that I don't consider this list to be a determining factor in whether or not people are good. I think all too often we, as women, have these list and if the person we are dating doesn't conform than he is scum or at least not good enough to gain our feminine attention. That's just not true. Many a good man has crossed my path that are not what I want in a husband. Good man yes. For me eternally? Maybe not. I do have high expectations. I do have certain things that I want in a husband and I don't think that is crazy. I have a responsibility to choose wisely for my children, my own heart, and our eternal family. Keep in mind my list is evolving. It is living and therefore under construction all the time. Under each section things are listed as I learned them and therefore order is not important. Without further adieu, here is the much anticipated list or series of lists. *drum roll please*
-Not Negotiable-
a. Loves the Savior more than me and has a relationship with him that reflects as much.
b. Temple attendance and a desire to take me there often, not just when we get married.
c. Wants children (side note: children is plural)
d.Wants me to stay at home with our babies when we get them.
e. Worthy Preisthood holder who understands his responsibilities as such.
f. Respects me for exactly who I am and doesn't expect me to do things to my outer appearance such as dye my hair, wear less jewelry, lose weight, etc.
g. Is supportive of me in my church callings and serves faithfully in his own.
h. Loves and Respects my family and his own.
i. Is forgiving of my short comings.
j. Makes me want to be and do better.
k. Honest. Even when its brutally so.
l. Joins me in the responsibilities of being a good parent and helps my children learn through example the importance of the small and simple things, like modesty, kindness, forgiveness, and respect.
m. Makes me laugh often and can laugh at himself.
n. Isn't afraid to be angry with me.
o. Acknowledges that I worry way to much and thinks it is endearing, or at least doesn't have an issue with it.
p. Understands my connection to my family and loves me for it.
-I Really Want but Could Live Without-
a. A man who can fix things.
b. He thinks I am beautiful and TELLS me so. Often.
c. Loves to Read.
d. Can fend for himself, should the need arise.
e. Enjoys a good movie.
f. Tolerates my homesick spells and is willing to buy me lime sherbet and watch Steel Magnolias with me when one hits.
g. Encourages my creative side, however small it may actually be.
h. Fits in well with the other boys in my family.
-Me Being Ridiculously Picky-
a. Is smitten with my accent...but who isn't! ;)
b. Wants to live near my family or at least visit often. (As in 2 or more times a year)
c. Theoretically wears boots, meaning even if he doesn't, he still lives like a man that would.
d. I have always been a swooner for a cowboy so some knowledge or desire for farm life would be nice!
e. Tall- as in 6 feet or above
f. Dark hair. Ridiculous of me I know, but I just think it looks so attractive!
g. Calls me Darlin, even when he is angry with me. :)
Yes, I know it is super long but let's just say in my short time here in Rexburg I am learning TONS of stuff about what I do and don't want for myself rather quickly. Everyday I get a little older and realize that old fashioned really is the way I want to be. I do have standards and dreams and goals. I do want to be happy. I can pick my trials. I can be happy here, now and in the future. I am a daughter of Heavenly Father who loves me and he has the richest of blessings in store for me. And maybe, just maybe, I am not as old as I had originally thought.
The following are pictures of 2 great men that have helped me along the way. Be jealous.
*A yellow rock is a square dancing call. Its almost a swinging hug. Yeah, My grandpa raised me right!
;)
