Comfort. Peace. Hope. Love. Sunshine.

These past few weeks have been rough. I am still learning things about myself and sometimes I still get surprised. Some of the things that I am learning are that I hate ice. Snow is fun....for a little while. My mood is directly related to sunshine....need I remind you, I am in Rexburg, Idaho. I hate sinus infections. I hate the flu. I miss my family. I miss creating things. I miss feeling special and not like just one of the crowd. I miss my accent and the reason that I have it. I miss fried food, (although my waistline doesn’t). I miss men that drive trucks. I miss men that actually know what boots are for AND how to wear them. I miss my Jules, Deash and Panda. I miss not paying for laundry. I hate to pay for laundry. I miss babies. I can be quite whiny sometimes. I am not the most pleasant when I sick. I can sometimes wallow in homesickness, obvious, I know.

BUT…….

I am also learning that ice that melts and then refreezes makes some really cool picture opportunities. Snow is fun to play in with friends. Sunshine is a small miracle and it will always come back. I am so fortunate to have good insurance. (Take that sinus infection, flu, and mandatory TB test!) I have the best family in the world. Hands down, AND I dare you to argue that point. You will lose my friend. I am one spoiled little girl who is loved more than most by some of the best. There is a remedy to fixing that accent problem…its called calling home for about 10 minutes! I have a florist nearby that lets me come ‘play’ when I need to make things. Did I mention I’m spoiled? I am a very good cook. Grandma’s homemade chicken and dumplings makes everything better even when I have to make it myself. Trucks and boots don’t make a man. Some wear them well and have ice in their souls. Skype is the greatest invention of my whole wide life. Laundry is a small price to pay for everything else that I’ve been blessed with here. Babies will surround me once again when I go home. Time and season. It is perfectly ok to just want my mama sometimes, or my grandma or my daddy or my Binky or my grandpa, the king. Homesickness is a disease of the mind. It can be overcome. EVERYTHING can be overcome with the help of my Savior. Not only can everything be overcome it can be conquered and then applied for my betterment.

In one of the buildings here on campus, the Liza R. Snow building, there is, conveniently located at the top of the north staircase, a bronze life size statue of Christ. I was walking to class last week and was so low I could have been dragging the ground. I was coughing up my lungs and I as I rounded the stairs to the top I was fishing for a cough drop in my pocket. I finally found it and when I looked up teary eyed I was facing my Savior. A very golden, shiny, warm, loving Savior that had one arm stretched out beckoning me, like so many in days of old, to come unto Him. Complete with scarred hand and feet and a smile that touched my heart. Talk about being humbled. Talk about feeling loved and special. Talk about comfort, peace, hope. Talk about light that is greater and more permanent than sunshine! A permanent constant reminder that I am supposed to be here. He said. Not me. His plan, not mine and because it is his plan it is perfect, like He is and it will not fail. I have to do my part but He is in charge. The very captain of my soul. Sister Hughes said, "Life often feels like a great pile of obligations, frustrations, and disappointments. But the Lord is there, always the same, His arms still outstretched. When we feel overwhelmed, we have to remember the peace He has spoken to us on previous occasions. His peace brings comfort and strength; the world cannot give that to us."("Remembering the Lord's Love," Ensign, Nov. 2006, 111-12) Peace has been spoken to my soul on many occasions and I have to only remember those sweet little brown faces of His children in the Philippines to feel it again. I realized while walking back to work today that I was smiling to myself. The world cannot give me that. It is the peace and comfort and contentment that comes from knowing and following Him. Elder Scott said, “Peace of conscience is the essential ingredient to your peace of mind. Without peace of conscience, you can have no real peace of mind. Peace of conscience relates to your inner self and is controlled by what you personally do. Peace of conscience can come only from God through a righteous, obedient life. It cannot exist otherwise.”

Comfort.
Peace.
Hope.
Love.
Sunshine.

More than I could have ever imagined....

-AzK-